It is hard to believe that Christmas is only a couple days away. I am not going to lie, I have not really been in into the holiday season this year. It feels like most days I am just trying to survive and embrace what God has given me. Life is busy taking care of two kids, working, being a wife, taking care of the horses, building relationships, cooking, cleaning....the list almost seems endless. But I hope as we soon embark on this wonderful Holiday and celebrate the birth of Jesus that I can "be still and know that He is God". I love that verse because it seriousy calms my soul. I usually love to decorate and dive into festivities but this year is different for me. I hope that next year things will not be as hectic and we can celebrate with some more Christmas traditions. I think that traditions are fun and important, don't get me wrong. I love them.
Tonight I picked up a shift in the emergency department. It was unusually slow. The majority of the patients that we saw were frequent drugs seekers. My attitude can get so bad when I take care of these patients. I constantly have to keep my attitude in check. I mean really how many times can someone "fall down" their own stairs. And then when you know they are faking it to get narcotics you have to play into their pain complaints and ask them questions such as, where does it hurt? how would you describe the pain? is it an ache, burning, sharp, pinching, pulling, pressure, etc....??? How would you rate your pain on a scale of 0-10? It is usually a 9 or a "15". I am sure that they can tell by my body language that I don't care. Anyways, my point to this rambling is that I started to feel guilty because you know what how sad is it that they feel so low that they have to fake a complaint to get drugs. They probably dont have a warm, loving place to go home to and maybe they never have experienced that. Regardess, why am I even judging. I am constantly in need God's grace and forgiveness. I am constantly in need of an attitude check. I hope that this next year I can learn to embrace people for who they are regardless of if they are smelly or "crazy". The one thing God has truly taught me this year is that every day is a gift and I need to be thankful. I am officially winding down after this rant, rambling or rave. Whatever you want to call it. As I sip on my cold glass of reisling (that was suppose to be for Christmas dinner) and look upon the fire that is barely visible through the huge mound of laundry that needs to be folded, I contemplate life. I am so thankful for my husband, two daughters and a warm snugly home. I hope that everyone's Christmas if filled with simplicity, peace, joy, thankfulness, love, giving, happiness and celebration.

5 months already

I can't believe that Jesi RaeLynn is already 5 months old. I have officially concluded that she is at the best age ever. She is old enough to sleep through the night, yet not old to move around:) I love this chubby blue eyed baby so much and she is such a great addition to our little family. Jesi is such a mama's girl and Ivy is a huge Daddy's girl. If you are ever at our house you will hear us say to each other "your kid needs her diaper changed" or "your kid is hungry". It is a joke between the two of us but that is usually how we end up tag teaming the chores around the house. This isn't a very exciting post but I am at work and both my patient and the baby are sleeping so I am a little bored. We are planning a suprise Christmas party for him tonight. The other nurses are coming over around 6:30 and bringing food and a Christmas tree. I love this job!!




This is such a bad picture but I think that it is funny. My friend Katie took this picture of me when she lived with us and couldn't stop laughing about it because she said I looked "white trash". Don't ask me why I feel like posting it.

Crab woutons and bed time

I should be in my bed right now but instead I am sitting on my couch at 2:30 in the morning waiting for my crab wountons to finish cooking. Although I am tired I can't ignore the fact that it is extremely peaceful in my house with every one asleep and the fire going. I was very sluggish today and it probably had something to do with a very busy weekend. Ivy was in a wedding on Saturday and I ended up being one of the photographers. Then I worked a 12 hour shift on Saturday night. Sunday was spent catching up on laundry and then Danny and I had an indoor soccer game. Monday was suppose to be our day of rest and relaxation until I recieved a friendly reminder in the afternoon from the emergency department that I was scheduled to come in and work from 6pm-1230am. It was one of those days where I really wanted to stay in my fleece Christmas pajamas all day and be a bum. I definately will not recieve any mom of the year awards today since I was coaxing Ivy to come lay in bed and watch a movie with goldfish crackers and pretzels. I dragged myself to the gym at 4 pm so that I could get my blood circulating and wake up a bit before going into the hospital. A work out, some dinner and a grande iced americano did the trick. I was wide awake by the time I walked through the hospital doors. So now I am finally home and it is almost 3 am. I am starving. It was a busy night in the ER and there wasn't any time for breaks. I need to wind down a little and get some food in my belly. I am SO glad that Danny has the day off tomorrow because I will be able to sleep in a little. Good night my fellow bloggers. I hope that every one is laying peacefully in their beds right now. My thoughts and prayers are with Kari's family tonight as her sister recovers from surgery.

The bride was in love with the groom but I was in love with her shoes! Aren't they great.

It was such a beautiful wedding. There were Christmas trees and lights everywhere. Ivy wore a Christmas dress and held a basket of cut out snowflakes that she tossed on the ground. She did so good walking down the isle with the other kids. When she saw me taking pictures she ran up and gave me a hug and then continued walking down the isle. She just melts my heart.

Book club cont.

For those of you interested in starting a book club, here are my thoughts. First off my goal in starting a book club is to get exposed to great books that I wouldn't normally pick out on my own. I am trying to expand my horizons when it comes to literature. I pick out my books like I order my food at a favorite restaurant.....I pick the exact same thing. Once I find an author that I enjoy I tend to start reading only books by that author. I know it is ridiculous.
I was thinking that we could take turns picking out a book for everyone to read on the first of every month. That way by the end of the year we will have read 12 life changing novels. (okay so maybe that was extreme but you get the point:)

What are you thoughts? Any other ideas?

Question

Does anyone out there want to start a book club?

my patient

I am at work right now and am humored by the fact that my patient just made a cocktail consisting of coca-cola and red wine. I have never seen these two beverages combined. I can't believe that I get paid to hang out at his house and take care of him. He is becoming more like family to me. I take care of him three days a week and bring Jesi with me. He is quite found of little Jesi. I often find him taking pictures of her using his 35mm camera that he keeps in his four point walker. The other day he wrote 'Christmas stockings for Ivy and Jesi' on his shopping list. How stinkin cute! Ivy even calls him "papa". We threw a suprise birthday party for him last week and Ivy wanted to sit by him the entire night. I am so thankful for this job! It is nice to have a relaxing job to go to for once in my life.

Just some random pictures from the last couple of weeks. I seriously can't believe it is already December. The last four months have flown by.

What I am thankful for

My list:

A hard-working, wonderful husband who is also a hands-on, loving father.

My two precious, beautiful, snugly, healthy, amazing little girls that bring so much joy and color to my life.

A job where I am allowed to bring Jesi and a career that I am passionate about.

Iced americano's with cream and two bags of sugar in the raw.

My pets...horses, Deville, Smokey, and Chun....dog, Tor...cat, Vegas and Sheep.....???????? (doesn't have a name and I don't really care about him that much, don't worry I still water it and feed it).

A safe home

Family and friends

The Cross

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours.......

From left to right: Kim, Zach, Riley, Kayla, Aunt Pat, Linsey, Mom, Danny, Jesi, Dad, Aiden, me, Ivy, Christina, Jon, David, David Jr., Sarah, Simon, Shannon and Samuel. Wowzer...they just keep on coming!

Let's not forget the dogs: Rose and Frisco (Torr is in the kennel because he was involved in a dog fight with Frisco prior to photograph)

We spent Thanksgiving in good ole Bend, Oregon at my parents house. We definitely had a lot to be thankful for this year. Jesi and my nephew Samuel celebrated their first Thanksgiving. My sister-in law, Christina, is expecting a baby boy the first of February. My aunt Pat and my cousin Linsey joined us from Seattle.....and every one else, excluding Danny and I, live in a five mile radius of each other in Bend.

The only person that we are missing in this photo is granny. She is upstairs napping in my parents bed.

Please do not pay any attention to the fact that Danny and I are both wearing flannel shirts....this was not planned, nor will it ever be.

Jesi RaeLynn and her hat collection

A day on the ranch

"chun" our newest addition to the family. We need to think of a better name.

My lil cowgirl

more pics!

These pictures warm my heart. I love this sweet little family of mine! I feel so incrediably blessed!

Love this one

Sweet little kissable baby feet and toes

This is an all to realistic picture here!

Family Photos

We received our photo CD from when we had family photos taken last month. I did some art work for a photographer a year ago and in return she gave us a gift card for a photo session and here are some of the photos!! It was such a rad studio. The atmosphere was really laid back. They brought the parents beverages. You could have, bottled water, juice, soda, beer, wine, etc. I just had water since it was 10 am and a little early for alcohol....some may disagree. The first time we went to have pictures taken at a studio was when Ivy turned one and we took her to JC Penny's, We ended up spending way to much money for "okay" pictures and I felt so rushed and stressed the whole time because there was a line behind us and the photographer seemed annoyed. So this was such a better experience.

This is one of my favorties of Ivy!! Whenver I take pictures of her at home she never wants to smile for me. When we were in the studio she was really a "ham". Laughing and smiling. It was great.

Agee day in a nutshell

Ahhh my house is so peaceful right now. Everybody is sleeping, my house is clean, the fire is going and all I can hear is the sound of the dishwasher going in the back ground. Ahhhhh.

It has been a busy, rambunckcious (spelling??), typical day in the Agee family. It has been full of laughter, hugs, kisses, crying, temper tantrums, screaming, eating, drinking, petting (animals...it is random but had to throw it in there), hay, sheep, horses, dogs, cats, costumes,books, coffee, gingerbread cookies, spaghetti, apples, smiles, sippy cups, bottles, binkies, onsies, camera, PICTURES, stepping on toys, spit up, laundry, swings, grandparents, more coffee and then everything repeats itself a little more.

My heart is full. I am exhausted but content. Grateful for such an amazing family. God is so good.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried: Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait." "Wait? You say, wait! " my indignant reply. "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why! Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? By Faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word. My future and all to which I can relate hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT? I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign, or even a 'no' to which I can resign. And Lord, You promised that if we believe we need but to ask, and we shall receive. And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry: I'm weary of asking! I need a reply! Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate As my Master replied once again, "You must wait." So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting.... for what?" He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine, And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun. I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run. All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be. You would have what you want~~But, you wouldn't know Me. You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint; You'd not know the power that I give to the faint; You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair; You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there; You'd not know the joy of resting in Me When darkness and silence were all you could see. You'd never experience that fullness of love As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove; You'd know that I give and I save.... (for a start), But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart. The glow of My comfort late into the night, The faith that I give when you walk without sight, The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST. You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, What it means that "My grace is sufficient for Thee." Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true, But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you! So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me. And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT." -Unknown, you must wait

My two babinos

Ivy loves her little sister. A lot of times when we are in the truck driving somewhere Ivy will be holding Jesi's hand. She is very protective of her sister. Anytime she cries, Ivy will say "mommy, hungy!". She thinks that every time the baby cries it is because she is hungry. I love watching these two interact.

Day at the park

As the season of fall has arrived I feel like our family has also entered upon a new season in our lives. As we recently celebrated our third anniversary we were able to reflect back and think...."what the crap!" It has been crazy. With Danny's brain surgery, my abdominal surgery, two kids, three moves, horses and dogs, starting our own business, remodling a house and living with relatives it has been a bit of a whirl wind.....(deep breath). None the less there has been growth and lots of learning. The experience of feeling like everything is out of your hands so all that's left is to rely on the Lord.

But now I sit here in a recently remodeled house on 70 acres, a two year old that is trying to drink my coffee, a snuggly little baby so cute and chubby, one dog that is starting to behave and am thinking that hopefully life will settle down a little.

Last week on Thursday I had to go back to my job at the hospital. It was crazy and so busy with all the flu going around. I was exhausted. My shift was noon to 12:30 am. By Friday mid shift I had already written my boss with my two week notice. Too much to handle right now, working full time and taking care of my two babies. Boy did that feel good! I will still pick up shifts per diem and occassionally take care of my patient in Salem.

Our week

This week:

• I am an auntie seven times over! My nephew Samuel David Lemke has arrived and is a very healthy little baby. His mother is also doing very well. She got to the hospital at 4 am and he was born at 4:45am! This is my oldest brothers fourth child. My parents now have nine grand kids under the age of 8 and a tenth on the way. Kids are everywhere when I go to Bend to visit.
• Our remodel project is almost complete..just trying to wrap up the small details...Danny and I were at the property last night until 2 am painting and doing some finishing work...ahh there is always something else that needs completed. We are hoping to move in this weekend though! I am so excited to be in my own home again after living out of a duffel bag for a year.
• Bought a new stove at Lowes and a new shower curtain at Wal-mart (which is really cute by the way..I am excited about it).
• Taking Jesi to get immunizations today...yuck I sure am a pansy when it comes to this...good thing I am a nurse...I can deal it out but I can't take it.
• Jesi started sleeping through the night! Hallelujah those first couple months of having a new baby sure are exhausting especially with trying to recover from surgery. Praise the Lord for a new chapter in our lives.
• Jesi RaeLynn currently weighs 11 pounds and 6 ounces. I love her little rolls...so cute. I have to put cream on four different creases of chub on her legs so it doesn't get chapped.
• Ivy is continuing to love being a big sis.. I love her so soo much. She is such a great kid and loves to laugh and give lots of kisses.

Well that is our week in a nut shell. I will post pictures of the remodel project sometime soon.

Daddy's lil girl

my little cute monkies

Happy Anniversary

Celebrating Three YEARS of marriage today

Happy Anniversary!

You have been my rock through sandy days and my sun through cloudy days...I love you more and more every day.

Here is to many more anniversaries and adventures.

Trip to Bend

Last week I went to Bend to stay with my parents so that they could help me while I was recovering from surgery. Of course all of the cousins had to come over and meet the new addition to the family. My nieces and nephews left to right, Aiden, Ivy, Sarah, Kayla, Riley, Simon, Jessi and David....did I mention there are two more on the way!! Obviously not from me. My sister in law Shannon is due this month and my other sister in law Chrissy is due in February.

I call Ivy and Jesi "salt and pepper". I have one blondy and one dark haired little girl. Jesi is getting a lot of rolls and it is so cute. She has been pretty fussy every since I got home from the hospital. We had to start feeding her formula when I was in the hospital but now she is back to being breast fed. She has her six week doctor's appointment on Monday.

"Pimp my ride"

Ivy loves these buggy/carts or "bubby" is how she says it. When I am shopping at Safeway I let her ride in the buggy in front of the shopping cart and she never wants to get out of it when we are through shopping. Whenever we drive by Safeway we hear "bubby", "bubby", "bubby". She is very obsessed with these little things. A few weeks ago I drove past a yard sell and saw that they were selling one. I immediately turned around to check it out. Other then being sun damaged and dirty it was in very good condition and only $5...sweet. I didn't have a chance to clean it due to having surgery and being in the hospital. When I got home from the hospital my friend Katie had scrubbed down the buggy and decorated it! It is so cute now and Ivy loves it. When she woke up from her nap yesterday her first word was "bubby". She probably would sit in it all day if I let her.

Look who just turned two!

My best friend Katie has been living with us for the last six weeks and I just love her to death. I have needed a lot of help lately and she has been there for me all the way. Ivy also loves her auntie katie. Just wanted to say how much appreciate her!

This has definately been a long week and I am so glad to be home with my family. Last week on Tuesday I started having severe abdominal pain and started vomiting. Danny took me into the emergency department after a few hours of trying to tough it out at home. They did a blood test and a CT scan and it told me that I had an acute appendicitis and would be going to surgery in the am. They transferred me to Salem Hospital around 2 am via ambulance (very bumpy ride). Danny took Jesi home and was going to join me first thing in the morning before surgery. Once I arrived to Salem hospital a surgeon came into talk to me around 4 am. She told me that I had a rare mass that was attached to my appendics as well as the cell wall of my colon. She continued to tell me that it could be cancerous and if it ruptures during surgery I would maybe have five years left to live. The surgeon told me that they were going to have to remove my appendics, the mass and some of my colon. This came as quite a shock to me as I was told an few hours earlier that it was just my appendics which would be removed with a laproscopic procedure and I would be out of the hospital by the next day. The information was terrifying and I called Danny he came in immediately. The next few hours until surgery were very scary to say the least. All I could think about were my little girls and my husband and if something went wrong I wouldn't be there to watch my girls grow up. I didn't go to surgery until 3pm and by that time my parents had arrived. I was really glad to be able to see them before I went in for surgery. I came back from surgery at 7pm. The doctor reported that surgery went great. The mass did not leak or rupture and it did not look cancerous. The biopsy reports came back and confirmed that it was not cancerous. Praise the Lord. I spent the next six days in the hospital. I got home monday afternoon. I am so glad that is over and I can now recover. It is going to be a long recovery but I am so thank ful that the surgery went well. Definately made me think about a lot of things and realize that every day we have on earth is truly a gift. It is so nice to be home with my girls and give them lots of hugs and kisses. I didn't see Jesi for a whole week which just about killed me. I missed her so much. Ivy was able to come a few times to visit. My family and friends have been SO amazing during this time. I am so thank ful for all of their prayers and support.

Slow Cooker Recipes....

I am looking for some new crock pot recipes. We have been house sitting the last few months and their oven doesn't work....so I have been using the our crock pot to cook most dinners. I am out of good recipes and looking for something new!

Desperate for some slow cooker favorites:)

Blast from the past

Sheena just sent me these pictures so I thought I would share them. Good times!!

My little angels

• Kids are sleeping
• Laundry is folded
• Dinner is in the crock-pot
• Hot cup of coffee in hand
• Quiet home.......................is this possible?

Ahhhhhhhh....sigh. I feel like freakin Martha Stewart.

(P.S. If anyone was wondering how the rest of last night went...Jesi fell asleep around 2am, Ivy went back to sleep after I rocked for for a bit. Jesi woke up at 6am, ate, then back to bed. Ivy woke up at 8:45 brought me about six books that she wanted me to read her and climbed into bed with me.. I felt like I was going to have to glue my eye lids open to stay awake. I kept closing my eyes and Ivy would say "Mommy!", "books, books". Anyways everyone survived and I am here sitting on the couch relaxing)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sitting in the living room rocking Jesi...wondering what it must be like to sleep eight hours straight. It has been so long I have forgotten. She has been really fussy the last few nights between 10pm and 2 am. So here I sit, blogging so that I stay awake......oh no...know Ivy is crying......What the heck

Look who is super excited about being a big sister:)

Hanging out in the hospital room with the hubby...waiting for the contractions to start...they hadn't yet that is why I am still smiling.

I feel like if my heart were any more full with happiness that it would explode. The last two weeks have just been amazing and I feel so blessed. I love cuddling with new baby Jesi and I love watching Ivy interact with her....most of the time unless she is trying to feed her or throw a ball at her to play catch. Our family has definately been taken care of during this time. Some ladies from our church have been bringing us meals every night and I haven't had to worry about cooking for over two weeks! So thankful for that. Danny has been waking up with Ivy in the morning and playing with her so that I can sleep in with the baby. My best friend Katie is living with us and has been a huge help, especially when Danny is at work. She has brought me breakfast and starbucks in bed twice this week. She cleans my house and reads books to Ivy. So thankful! The three months prior to Jesi's birth were kind of hell. Since I was working two full time jobs and rarely home. It is so nice to be at home resting and hanging out with my kids. L.O.V.E it. I don't have to return to work until October and I will have only one job:)


My best buddy Katie...hanging out with me while I am on the birthing ball...true friendship:)

Jesi's first trip to the beach

For Danny's birthday we went to Pacific City and ate at our favorite restuarant The Riverhouse. They have amazing food. Danny ordered a crab sandwich and I had scallops with a buttery mushroom sauce..Yummy. We then headed down to the beach to watch the sunset....it was a great way to spend the evening.

My sweet baby girls!

Ivy can't get enough of her little sister. She has probably kissed her about 100 times already this morning and said the word baby about 200 times. She is saying "baby, baby, baby, baby" currently and walking around in circles. Everytime she passes the baby she kisses her until I intervene and tell her "okay, that is enough".
New dialogue that has recently entered our home:
"the girls"
"the kids"
"the children"
"Ivy, no the baby doesn't drink out of a water bottle, please put it down"
"Ivy, no the baby doesn't eat crackers, please do not try and feed her anything"
"Ivy, no you can't pick the baby up whenever you please"
"Ivy, please do not kiss the baby so hard she cannot breath"

These two munchkins are keeping us very busy but it is such a joyful time.